How Mothers Play a Part in Raising Daughters Who Become Feminists
Mothers are the primary guides of their daughters. They set the example of what it means to be a woman. They raise the future wives, mothers, and nurturers of society. This is not a light role in Islam. It is an obligation that must be acknowledged and fulfilled for the sake of Allah.
Dear fellow mothers, we must be honest. We can either guide our daughters toward Islam, balance, and akhira-centered goals, or we can unintentionally push them toward dunya-driven identities and ideological confusion.
Dear daughters, if you were not taught this growing up, seek beneficial knowledge now. Learn your deen, heal from old wounds, and rewire your brain to think logically.
For those who ask, “What about fathers?” Yes, fathers are essential in a child’s upbringing. Their role is crucial, but it is different. Mothers usually spend the most time with their children and shape the emotional and spiritual atmosphere of the home. That influence is unparalleled. Thus, I wrote a separate article on How Fathers Play a Part in Raising Daughters Who Become Feminists, which can be read here.
Mothers play a part in raising daughters who later adopt feminism when:
When mothers speak about men only in a negative light, constantly warning their daughters that most men are abusers or oppressors, fear replaces discernment. A daughter grows up defensive before she ever learns wisdom.
When mothers behave like victims of their circumstances—constantly complaining, expressing helplessness, and refusing accountability—daughters learn resentment instead of resilience. Womanhood begins to feel like a trap rather than a trust.
When mothers are materialistic and teach their daughters that success means wealth, luxury, and social status, dunya becomes the goal. Akhira fades into the background.
When mothers emphasize external beauty above all else and neglect teaching modesty, character, gratitude, and inner development, daughters grow up measuring their worth by appearance instead of iman.
When mothers are absent—emotionally, spiritually, or physically—and allow schools, social media, and online culture to raise their daughters, secular ideologies step in where Islamic guidance should have been.
When mothers live their unfulfilled dreams through their daughters, daughters grow up carrying pressure instead of purpose. Their lives become extensions of their mother’s regret rather than trusts from Allah.
When mothers demand high-status careers and “marrying up” so they can boast to family and friends, marriage becomes transactional and pride-driven instead of sacred.
When mothers prioritize culture, appearances, and traditions over Islamic responsibilities, daughters grow confused. Islam feels restrictive, while ideology feels freeing. This is not written to insult mothers, but the reality is undeniable.
I have mentored many young women raised by controlling, fearful, or dunya-focused mothers. Their daughters are steered toward status instead of sincerity, independence instead of reliance on Allah, and resistance instead of trust.
Mothers impact society immensely.
A mother can raise a daughter who feels safe in her femininity and grounded in her faith, or a daughter who feels the need to armor herself against life.
This is not about blame. It is about taking responsibility. Therefore, when a mother trusts in her Lord and raises her children the same way, she will give them the priceless gifts of having taqwa and sakinah, inshallah.
If you liked this post, you may enjoy reading: How Mothers Shape Their Daughters’ View of Men, Marriage, and Womanhood
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Salam, I’m Zakeeya!
I believe being a wife, a mother, and making our homes a sanctuary for our families brings us tremendous blessings, fulfillment, and improves society. Since 2011, I've been committed to helping Muslimas find tranquility in their roles, take better care of themselves, and attain contentment within. Our journey is not an easy one, but I pray the resources and mentoring I offer, will assist in navigating you through your everyday challenges with mindfulness and gratitude, inshallah. Join me as I share wifehood, motherhood, homemaking, and lifestyle solutions that make life more fulfilling for you as a woman! READ MORE
